Go for A Gerber! By John Steele

     Out here in the Victorian scrub, where I live in my tent, I sometimes need to clear areas so that I do not step on brown snakes, who can get upset when some big clod puts a boot on their back. I do not blame them, as I would too. Anyway, I have a Cold Steel Latin machete that has served me well, but is now so ground down it looks more like a kitchen knife. I am taking my time deciding on what brand to choose next, just to ad variety to my plain, uneventful  life. I went on EBay, and stumbled upon this nice bit of home spun philosophy by the fantastic blade makers, Gerber:

“When did we decide campgrounds needed laundromats? When the car stalled, whose bright idea was it to reach for a cell phone instead of a tool? There was a time when the words "quick" and "fix" were never found together in the same sentence. When our homes needed to be built, we grabbed brothers, fathers and hammers, not a mouse that clicked on Mr. On-line Contractor. Our nation's great accomplishments were a testament to hard work, sweat and ingenuity. After all, we not only put a man on the moon, but built him a rover to drive while he was up there. What will we achieve today? Can we turn our cheek to the enemy known as convenience before it makes us helpless? Do we have what it takes to depend solely on ourselves? As you ponder these questions, we invite you to join us on our mission. We're Gerber®. We design the tools, knives and outdoor gear that are essential, not only for the task at hand, but for bringing back something lost: our self-reliance. Gerber. Fend For Yourself.”

     Gerber, what a great firm, light years ahead of Gillette, after their disgraceful ad.


     Gee, if real hairy-chested hyper-toxic masculine men like me shed tears, well … we wouldn’t. But the sentiment of self-reliance expressed above is great, so just for that I will buy a Gerber, when I can save up $ 59.50 from my pension, from stopping use of Gillette razors.

     If you need a machete for your garden, get one too. Men need to buy more machetes, power tools, red meat, and spend more time in sheds. It really is the best a man can do!



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Saturday, 13 August 2022